i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
