I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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