We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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