sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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