Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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