dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
