She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
