so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Damn victory sex feels great
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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