I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
