Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
