youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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