Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
