Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Randomize
