Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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