He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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