Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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