I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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