I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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