Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
