Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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