There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
