I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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