dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
