can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
