exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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