I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
