Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
