never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
