i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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