Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
