It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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