Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
