Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
