Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Do vagina's smell?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
