I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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