Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
