I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
