does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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