I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
