Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There's always time for handjobs
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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