i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
