he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
