Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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