Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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