well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
