Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
