Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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