she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
