Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize