In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
