went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
