I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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