Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
