somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
