She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This is my gift to your gina
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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