I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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