addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
