loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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