Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
this hospital has no fireball
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
