all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
