Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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