would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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