toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
