I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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