i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
