He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
