Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
