She said her name was "party"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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