you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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