i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
