Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
BRING THE BAGELS
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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