I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
